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The art of being ‘Gentle’ – a story of my (Sue Kira) journey with Ross River
(p.s if you don’t want to read about the pain you can skip to the happy ending of the last 7 paragraphs.)
I was trying to get fit from spending too much time sitting down at work, so I had embarked on daily walks to the Cape Byron Lighthouse from Clarks beach, an up and down stair trip of around 6 kms I think, plus going to the gym 3 times per week. I was loving it all and felt great for a while, and then I started to notice that I couldn’t get on my left knee in the gym class and thought that I must have bruised it or something. Then I had a really sore thumb and thought that I must have bent it back with the weights bar or something. Then after my walks my feet really hurt but put this down to trying to increase my speed too quickly. Bit of ‘bull at fence’ syndrome or ‘something’.
Then I noticed that the aches weren’t getting any better even after cutting back on the gym and stopping the walks thinking that I just needed to slow down a bit and let my body catch up with my brains enthusiasm. This didn’t work in fact it all just got worse till I woke one morning and could hardly walk. It felt like I had broken the bones in my feet and my left thumb hurt like crazy. I thought this was bad enough, but over the next few days it actually got worse, till I could hardly move my body. It hurt sooo much but it hurt not to move too.
I’m not normally one who would go to a doctor, but by this time I knew something was terribly wrong. I was thinking maybe Rheumatoid arthritis as I didn’t feel at all sick or feverish at this stage so I didn’t think of Ross River. It was a struggle to get to the doctors room. I just felt like my whole body was broken, and with tears running down my cheeks from the pain, I shuffled into the doctors rooms as slow as a snail. I collapsed into the chair and fell to pieces emotionally.
The Dr. had me do all sorts of bending things and said my joints were swollen and that he would have to put me on anti-inflammatories and do some blood tests. Normally I would never take any drugs, but the pain was so bad I would have taken a general anesthetic if it were available. My next challenge was to get to the blood collecting rooms. Everything was hard to do. Life was too much pain. It must have been putting pressure on my nerves or something because the anti-inflammatories didn’t work so I gave them up after a few days, and tried aspro, paracetamol, codeine, all to no avail.
I just had to bear it. Nights were excruciating as laying still made everything throb, but to get up and move hurt too much to. I was beside myself and I could no longer think rationally what to do with myself. Life was one big PAIN and I wanted the pain to end. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse I got a rash all over my body and started to get fevers, mostly at night. What was my body doing, I thought.
Then a phone call from my G.P. He said, guess what? you have Ross River. I was relieved, in fact I was excited. Everyone thought that I was strange to get excited over this diagnosis and that maybe my brain had fried with the fevers, but I was happy even in pain as I knew it would go away. The thought that I may have this forever was not attractive, so knowing that it was a virus that ‘this too shall pass’ was comforting in a quirky kind of way. I never thought such a tiny creature could cause so much pain. Now that I knew I was dealing with a virus I got stuck into Olive leaf extract and vitamin C in mega-doses as well as herbal anti-inflammatories including fish oil. I thought I’ll at least drown the virus out of my system if nothing else.
I guess it all helped a bit, but I was still in so much pain. Then I guess the pain settled enough that I could think again and started to meditate by connecting to the ‘gentleness’ of my breath. My days were filled by being gentle with myself. After 3 weeks had passed and just starting to actually sleep at night, someone told me about having intravenous Vitamin C to help, so I did this, but this was a decision made by my head not my heart. My heart didn’t feel good about it, but I wanted it to work. I wanted it to all go away. Even though the pain was less, my tolerance was lowered and any pain was still too much.
Also, when I had the IV C I had a reaction the first night where I thought that I’d had a close call on a stroke when the weirdest feeling rushed over me and up my head But this passed and I was just left with lots of pain again for three weeks. After this settled I started to ‘breath’ again.
My recovery did seem slow, but one thing was for sure, whenever I tried to push myself and not be gentle it hurt heaps for ages. I learnt how to be gentle. How crazy are we? Why can’t we be gentle with ourselves always? With not being able to do much but think or read or meditate I learnt the art of being gentle. If I approached everything with gentleness I had no pain. When I had no pain for a while and tried to do something not gentle, I paid for it with more pain. Just like a mouse with the reward cage, I learnt gentleness.
Three months later most of my symptoms are now gone and I am being gentle most of the time and this is working. But I still get reminded if I step out of gentleness even a bit. The pain is so minimal now but I still use it as a barometer of gentleness.
The other thing that helped me was that I decided not to ‘suffer’ or be a ‘sufferer’, but rather to ‘experience’ the condition and not own it. I saw it as a passing energy. After all, everything IS just energy, stuck energy in this case.
So, you might be thinking, what does gentleness mean? Well to start with, it means choosing consciously a gentle in and out breathe. Gentle in, and gentle out. And going about the day in ‘gentleness’, not rushed or stressed, but allowing yourself to do things with ‘gentleness’, being kind to yourself, nurturing, soothing, relaxing, instead of the usual push-push attitude of hectic life. And not allowing others to bug you, just letting things go with love.
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This virus has been a most valuable experience that although I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, I’m glad I got it because of the gift that gentleness has brought into my life. The other part to this gift is that I also learnt how to say NO to people’s requests and also how to ask for help when I needed it. A lot of women feel that they need to be tough and do most things for themselves, but this only disconnects us from our ‘femaleness’, an important balance of energies needed in this day of equality of the sexes.
History has shown others that it can re-occur with repeated flair-ups, but I only expect this to happen if I forget to be gentle with myself. You know what?, I actually feel that this has been a ‘healing’ rather than a ‘cure’ I’ll talk more on this another time, as there’s a big difference. Do you know what I mean? If you have any thing you would like to share about this (cure vs. heal), then I’d love to hear about it. Wishing you never get Ross River, but you get ‘gentleness’- it’s truly lovely.
Hi Sue,
I had Ross River Virus about 10 years ago, very much pre my work with Universal Medicine. I woke one morning after an extremely windy night, saw a fairly large wattle tree blown down, over a number of pretty small rainforest trees we had planted, so strong woman that I was I put my boots on, grabbed the saw and cut off the branches and freed the other plants, quite a feat. I wondered why my right hand and my left foot were rather sore, but went on for a few days at my usual hectic pace. I had a morning in Lismore with my husband, wondering why I was limping across the road after him. After a couple more days I went to the Doctor who did a blood test, which a few days later came back positive for Ross River. Over the next few days I grew more and more exhausted, to the point where I could only have a shower after eventually getting up and then sitting/laying on the lounge while my husband got breakfast. My foot and hand had swollen up and were both very painful, and all my other joints became quite sore, but not as bad as yours thank heavens. The other thing that was very apparent was that I could not concentrate on anything. The complete exhaustion lasted for a couple of months. I improved a bit and tried to work on our property, but could only do so for about half an hour at a time and then had to rest for about an hour.
I lost all my independence, hence part of my gallbladder resentment clearings later, could not drive for 5 months due to my inability to concentrate and therefore could not go anywhere on my own. And my right hand was still tending to swell up whenever I tried to do anything. I learned to write with my left hand etc.
After 5 months of this I begged the doctor to put my onto a reliable alternative practitioner (he himself agreed he could do nothing to help me) and I had a very long session with a naturapath/homeopath who pulled me apart to get down to ‘my personality’. He told me it would take about 3 weeks to be back to normal and that I would not suffer recurrences after. That was what happened and thankfully I have not had any recurrences. My sister and a friend of mine both suffered recurrences for several years after their initial attack.
After I repeated SEH2 last October and then too many visits to practitioners over the next week, I had a very strong reaction, ending with several days in bed hardly able to walk and quite exhausted, together with a need after a week, of a resetting of the heart rhythm. I did not get my normal energy levels back until just before SEH4 early December The interesting thing also tho’ was for a couple of days I felt that I was also revisiting much of the pain that I had had with the previous Ross River Virus episode. I concentrated very much on being with that feeling of pain and it passed on after a couple of days. Hopefully that helped me clear the effects of having buried stuff deeper in the body with the Naturopath. I must speak to Serge of this next time I see him.
With love,
B
I am currenlty in week 6 of RRV after being diagnosed at week 4 and yes the pain can be terrible and nothing seems to help. My knees are swollen and my elbows and I know what you mean about the aching thumbs. I kept working until my blood test came back positive after 3 lots of bloods being done and this was hard, I wobbled around and was drained by the end of the day. Mine came on very quickly I came back from camping the Tuesday after Easter and woke on the Saturday aching from head to toe. Anyway I am at home now for 3 weeks resting, some days are good and some days it is hard to walk. I liked what you said about being gentle to yourself and I am going to take that advice for sure and start saying no and looking after myself. I know I have a long way to go but your story has been good to read. Being gentle to myself is something I have never done and it is about time I started. I have wanted to try the Vitamin C as I have read this is good as well, but I have had the trots as well for the past 6 weeks so Vitamin C is not a good idea at this stage.
Hello Sue,
Thankyou for your story, i have been looking up the internet for any info on people that have rrv that have had the vitamin c introvenous as i have just started 2 weeks ago . i have rrv i was diognosed 18 months ago was sick for the last 2 years, thought i was going bonkers as everything started to breakdown in my body. i can remember being bitten on the nose in china and it got very badly infected. but im glad i finally no what im dealing with, i have reserched it seems like i have a very bad case i read that some people get over it within 3 months (lucky ducks) anyway the pain in my joints is constant, especilly knee joints contant burning it travels most times in knees down my shoulders, hands burn and swollen, under my arms that muscle burns mainly left side, also down front of legs and front of arms. i have constant pain whilst trying to sleep, i have fever at night with horrible nightmares, i wake up with headachs in the morning because i clench my jaw during the night because of the pain im in nedless to say i cant sleep well. i have built up an intolerance to a lot of foods now and my body is always rejecting something that i used to eat . i have an intolerance to smells ie purfumes and products seem so strong now. i have a diguestion problem the food sometimes feels caught in the osophigus spelt that wrong? thats just to name a few symptoms, and no im not a fruit cake , i am a very strong person thats been through a lot in my life and im possitive but i have never had anything to this such extent that i would never in a millon years wish this on another human being.
i feel for anybody that ever gets this. i will when i get better try to help others with this dibiltating virus.
if anyone out there has had this for a few years and has fully gotton over this i need to hear it. also does anyone think the vit c intro works im having 30 mls 2 times a week and i feel like im in hell but i think its getting to it . need some one to reply please. thankyou maddy
I have found all of your comments really useful in relation to Ross River – after doing some online research on the many health sites I couldn’t seem to find anywhere that listed all of the symptoms I have been experiencing.
In late May I woke up with a swollen left thumb and my left ankle felt like I had a broken bone (very painful and very difficult to walk). I really felt like I had a severe onset of arthritis. With work pressures I soldiered on knowing that I was only a week away from a holiday overseas.
For the entire three week journey I was in pain, and became more tired as each day progressed. Being my first trip to the US though, I kept pushing myself and took rest where I could as I was very apprehensive at seeing an overseas doctor.
I returned home and the symptoms just seemed to escalate – swollen aching ankle, some fingers, left thumb and wrist, dizziness, a few night sweats here and there, inability to concentrate, fatigue, swollen lymph node under right armpit, feeling that my head was swollen and my ears needed to pop and uncontrollable shaking in my hands (and sometimes my whole body). I had gone back to work but as soon as I had an opportunity I headed to see my doc and blood tests revealed RR. That was three weeks ago so figured that I have had the fever/virus and related symptoms for about 11 weeks now.
I find that anti-inflammatories and slow release (osteo) panadol have helped to relieve some of the pain/swelling by about 50% but I will certainly be purchasing some vitamin C tablets tomorrow (although I normally have a good diet of veges/fruit/tuna most times). And yes, I will be trying to take it a little easier than I have been. I am just hoping that I can shake the fever soon.
I have Ross River Virus – i have had it for 6 months. I got it when i went camping at a festival in the Hawkesbury River in February 2010. i arrived on the Friday and by Saturday night i was stuck in my camping bed with the worst flu like symptoms i had ever had. i felt so sorry for all the other campers because i was blowing my nose like no mans business – felt like i was trying to get something out that i couldnt. i woke up in the morning after having no sleep and went to the toilet and noticed a small red mark on my right foot (pinky toe) – like a mozzie bite that had been scratched but wasnt itchy. i felt terrible for the whole weekend and had chronic diarrohea. i took a tablet to stop the diarrohea and got through the next two days until i got home, complete with nosebleed on the way home aswell. its was horrible.
the next day (so prob 3-4 days later) the bite on my foot really stung – i thought i had been bitten by a spider and i also noticed a rash on my butt. well my boyfriend did anyway so i looked at it in the bathroom mirror and freaked out – thought i’d got meningities. so took myself to my parents house – by this time it had travelled all over my body. I thought it was chicken pox, meningitis even maybe shingles – i never even heard of Ross River before. So off to the hospital emergency ward – no luck there either – i was turned away with the explanation of ‘well we know what it isnt and it isnt meningitis’ so at that point i thought well im not going to die – maybe its just a virus. so they sent me off with a script for an anti inflammatory.
I saw my sister in the next few days and she actually diagnosed me through a friend of hers (who had gotten this a couple years ago). by this time i was in a fair amount of pain and spent days and days sleeping it all off. work was non existant for around a week and then i made myself get back into it. i had a sharp pain in my right ankle and a sore and aching index finger on my left hand aswell as elbow, hips, knees and feet aching. The pain in my ankle and my index finger lasted approx four months. it felt like my bones were twisting inside me and growing almost. it was strange and made me feel sick thinking about it. i hated it. Then the tiredness set in and it hasnt gone. im still tired all the time.
My boyfriend gets a little upset by me being tired all the time, but i literally cant help it. Although he understands, it does impact on other people aswell. i was always outdoorsy and energetic so its a big change for me to be so lazy . i am just starting to think about getting back into some excercise. my doctor told me to not excercise while my bones are inflamed as i will do lasting damage, but 6 months later, i need to do some slow excercise to start off with and hopefully i’ll get over it. i have been pretty gentle with myself – that definitely works aswell as meditation etc, baths and hot spas have been my saviour and mostly sleep. i have not taken any medication to get through it as i dont believe it would help me much and i may just start relying on it all. The only thing i do is try to eat plenty of healthy food and try to drink as much water as possible to keep my system clear. i try to get sunshine when its sunny and i take vitamin c tablets.
i have not tried the Vit C shots or anything as personally i just dont think it would do anything for me – unfortunately i think this thing just has to run its course and once its over – its over but only for now – it will come back regardless of what i do and it will come back when im sick or my immune system is down. There isnt too much i can do about it.
These days i try not to think about it too much or i dwell on it but i am constantly searching for other peoples stories and to see how they cope with it all – thanks for the threads above. However different our stories might be on Ross River – im sure that they are helping others to find out how we all cope with it.
It has been 11 years since I was diagnosed with Ross River. I had a particularly bad case and got mine in one of the worst outbreaks in WA. I t affected me badly for about 3 years and then on off for thenext couple of years. To this day, if I dont maintain my fitness and health and get run down then I get aches in my elbows and toes, they still swell and debilitating tiredness. I have realised I have to stay super healthy to stop re-occurrences.
I was told in 2005 I had RRFand Glandular fever and have been living with both ever since. I have flare ups, usually when I am stressed and I seem to get it after long bouts of heavy rain when the mossies are in abundance. You just keep going, look after your health. I take fish oil, vitamin e, c and vital greens (it gives you a real boost) I go to the gym and keep my body fit. I have a good diet drink lots of water and take extra protein. Somedays I fell like staying in bed and giving up but I have a husband that does let me wallow in self pity. I will not let this defeat me if I have it for the rest of my life. I am 52.
All I can say is stay positive, yes and listen to your body. it tells you when you need to slow down and when to speed up.
I got RR in 1996. I woke up in the middle of the night with a fever and collapsed on the floor. Went back to bed but acute pain in the foot made me think I had broken my foot. Pains then stopped in foot and then went to my hand. No doctor could tell me anything. I read about RR in the paper but my GP said it was not in NSW. Remember this was 1996.
Went to a PRofessor of Rheumatology at RPAH who couldn’t find anything wrong. The pain and fatigue cost me my job, and finally, my marriage.
In 2003 I had recurrence and went to a Neurologist at St Vincent’s Hospital in Sydney who sent me for a blood test which showed up acute RRV.
Since then, whenever I am ill with anything I get a recurrence of RR. I am now 68, I was 54 when I was bitten by the mosquito on the Central Coast of NSW (Killcare). It is severe this time and causing me to search for some real advice from long term sufferers.
Has anyone out there had RRV for 10 years or more?
Hi. I got RRVD at Newcastle in November 2010. It took 6mths for me to self diagnose and ask doctor for RR blood test. I had since diagnosed another sufferer and advised him to have doctor test him for RRVD wich was positive. I had seen 10 doctors and three were specialists at the John Hunter Hospital.( interestingly he had also seen some of the same specialists) All useless even with the classic RR signs. I may have taken a different approach had I known what it was earlier. Now 12 months later it has flared up and even the small rash has presented itself. Of coures no sense in showing some doctors. It never went away completely and any time I feel reasonable I start to exercise it comes on real bad. When it is at its worst I will get nausea and anxiety attacks. (well i think thats what it is) As well as the other symptons that everyone has described. It is at a point now where I am unable to work as often as I should and need too. Have tried all of the above remedies with little success. I am a 50 year old male that had always been active and fit! Good luck everyone. PS. I will see Doctor this week and ask for the sulfasalizine that had been trialed in Australia for RR.( a female doctor that will at least listen) Very disappointed and quite appalled that the New England Health had put out alerts in paper and TV for Barmah Forrest etc for this region and that RRVD is endemic to Australian coastal communities yet many of the Medical profession are seemingly bewildered and careless!
I was diagnosed with RRV 6 years ago, at the time it was upsetting and also a great relief to me that it was not something else as my mind lead me to believe at times..Initially the pains in my feet and hands were incredible, When I awoke in the morning and placed my feet on the ground they felt broken I would be in tears just getting to the bathroom, night sweats, headaches, dizziness and just not feeling myself mentally and so very tired all similar symptoms to you all…anyway Recovery for me started with a positive attitude firstly then I tried everything. What worked for me..NO ALCOHOL for 12 months, EXERCISE 1 hour of walking everyday, yes it hurt a lot and boy did I sweat badly, VITAMIN C 10 tablets a day, ASTRA FORTE tastes terrible but it helps, CO-ENZYME Q-10 for energy. Food.. I still ate what I liked but soon found different foods made me tired and could even bring back aches and pains, so for me it was best to not eat really big meals and not to much sugars, breads and meat. I did not give these up entirely I just cut back on these things when I felt bad enough. So what I can say is I think that RRV really affects people in different ways and what works for one may not for another, It is good to listen to your body, If your tired, REST, watch a movie, read a book..was all new to me too, now I love it.
So the pains for me lasted 9 months, I lost 15kg and I do feel great most of the time, however I have triggers that can have me feeling symptoms again, e.g. Heat, Stress, A big night out, Generally overdoing it and some cold and flus will have me feeling sick for longer than they used too.
I wish everyone well and hope you can find what your body needs to find relief from this Virus, I hope this is helpful to someone as I have found reading your stories comforting to me, sympathy can be hard to find from others when they don’t quite understand it.!
I was diagnosed with RRV about 3 months ago now on the Gold Coast. It started with aches and pains, dizziness, fatigue. I couldn’t focus on anything. I was feeling anxious allot of the time. Fortunately I had no swelling of the joints, only severe arthritic aches in my elbows and shoulder joints, lower back and knees. I was sent to several specialist but they could not find an answer. My doctor finally did a RRV blood test and it came back positive.
Once I got the news I spent a week on the couch sweating, aching, could literally not move. The fever broke and this was the worst of the symptoms.
After that i could get up and walk around, and do odd little things. But I hadn’t driven in over 3 weeks.
I thought I was done with it by this point!!!!!!
Little was I to know. . . This virus has turned my life upside down. I have had to leave my job, I am unable to socialise and just go about my life as I have been able.
My days are now spent waking up, and by about 10am I am awfully tired. I feel as though I want to just sleep. Its so frustrating. I could handle resting for a week or so but once it hits the 3 month mark it becomes really disheartening.
I have inflamed lymph nodes that are extremely painful, and I am highly susceptible to other flues or illness’s.
I am taking Olive Leaf Extract and Vit c 4 times daily, which I guess helps but it is the fatigue that I cant seem to find a way to deal with. If anyone has any advice, please share.
Hi, I was a fit healthy 20 year old when I was diagnosed with RR 3.5 years ago. I have had constant joint pains throughout my whole body, hot flushes, fever, rashes headaches and migraines and fatigue so bad that I struggle to stay awake at work. I used to work out all the time and was a size 10 but since getting sick have not been able to excercise at all and have gained 30 kilos that I am struggling to remove. I have found since the RR took me I can’t drink any alcohol as one sip puts me out for a week. I have had to continue work as I can’t afford to be without money and don’t have any other financial support. I have also had great difficulty with doctors aknowledging the severity of my case as most tell me that RR only lasts 12 months Max. I am in Perth WA, if any one out there has found a good doctor or specialist or even naturopath it would be great to hear as I am starting to get pretty desperate for a solution as the constant pain and nausia is really getting me down.
This site and others are vital to our sanity, I have found family and people generally do not understand this illness, which doesn;t help. MY Question is has anyone had a dog with rrf, I’m dead set certain my 10 year old border collie has it, and its real she is not faking it out of sympathy. Im sure we caught it together, I had her clipped in september 2011, then we had a cold spell heavy downpour , rained all day and all night for 8 days. Being my constant shadow in the garden I actually saw the mozzies on her!! I have a bite mark which is severe and still very itchy. Irony will have thou, I had 6 months worth of vaccinations everything known to man, off I went to Africa, Kenya the most mozzie borne country in the world, hardly saw or heard a mozzie, and made comment that I have more mozzies in my back yard, yes got bitten in oz , my dog is constantly licking her joints, Im taking vitamin c 1000g 3 times a day, 6000g fish oil 3 times ( and given to my dog)
rehyrdration tablets that dissovle in water 2 in morning due to dehyradtion from night fevers and sweats, i have a 1litre water bottle which i have put 1 tablet in and dring and refill during the day and then 1 at night. Now eliemanting as many toxins from my deit, and being gentle, if i need to rest then i do, I have closed the door on people who do not understand which adds stress, it is hard to say NO,also taking oesto panadol 3times a day.
We must talk, comfort inform each other thur this so thanks for listening blessed be, be kind to your self.
I have had RRV now for the last 15 years and I am now 54 years of age. I have had a few bad reoccuring times where it has put me in bed for weeks at a time. I am concerned for my old age because i have muscle weakness now with shaking if i do too much. I cant excercise and have gained 40 kl I am in constant pain. I have just gone off my antinflamitory tablets because of the side effects and have started on just ostio panadol and fish oil, which do nothing really. I have been to the top arthritis specialsits in adelaide and they did nothing for me but tell me to loose weight and get fit ……Are you kidding I am lucky if I can walk around the supermarket do excercise is a joke for anybody with cronic pain.
I have started taking fluid tablets which has taken some of the swelling out of my legs but I am concerned about the long term use of them now. ITs like dambed if I do andf dambed if I dont. I am worried I will end up in a wheel chair.